Treasure Hunting for Self-Esteem
Posted on April 22, 2009
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You don’t have to look far to find your source of self-esteem. You simply look within yourself. That’s where self-esteem lies. There are lots of people in the world who have problems with self-esteem and the result is high anxiety. Self-esteem is one of life’s intangibles that has an enormous impact on how well you’re able to function in your interpersonal relationships. If you don’t have a high opinion of yourself then how can you expect others to think differently. You may think you hide your lack of self-esteem, but it reveals itself in a number of ways.
I know all about lack of self-esteem, because I had to go on a treasure hunt to find it. That’s how I think about my personal pursuit of esteem building. Before I began to practice positive self-talk and changing my thinking, I really didn’t trust myself to succeed. Instead, I was always throwing barriers in my way which created ongoing anxiety in my life. So I had to teach myself I’m valuable, creative, deserve respect and can succeed. Now I have a lot less stress in my life and panic attacks are things of the past.
Always the Victim
Posted on April 15, 2009
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Think about how many people in your life you’ve met that are always victims. They blame everything that happens to them on someone else. It’s really annoying to be absolutely honest. It’s a mindset that should be considered an anxiety disorder in its own right in my opinion. Victims blame their parents, schooling, circumstances, bad luck and anyone they come into contact with as being the reason they are always anxious or upset. Victims tell themselves they never get a break, or they are so flawed no one wants to be around them. Victims make themselves victims.
Overcoming the victim attitude is critical to overcoming anxiety. If you always see the world as out to get you, then you’ll always be worrying about what’s going to happen next. Instead of focusing on how you can improve your life, you’ll always be in defensive mode. When someone starts complaining they are in a hopeless situation, I try to point out the good things in their life. But the truth is that the person must want to get out of the state of being the victim and into the state of self-help.
Helping My Friend
Posted on April 1, 2009
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Recognizing anxiety in yourself can be easier than recognizing it in someone else. That’s because many people can actually hide their anxiety. You don’t know the feelings of panic they’re experiencing. But there are clues when your family member or friend is developing anxiety. In my friend, the first clue was a loss of interest in playing tennis. She’s always been a huge tennis fan, and we have played regularly for years. She started complaining she was tired all the time and began to talk badly about herself. This woman is gorgeous, and it was very disconcerting to listen to her disparage herself.
If finally sat her down and told her what I was noticing. Much to my relief she admitted she was having regular anxiety attacks and they were making her feel sad and fearful. I suggested she get herself to a doctor right away, which she did. When she felt better a few weeks later, she thanked me. You should not be afraid to say something to people you love who seem have anxiety or depression symptoms. The sooner you treat these disorders, the sooner they can be reversed.
Learning to Forgive Myself
Posted on March 25, 2009
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Anxiety is often created within us, because of our unwillingness to forgive ourselves. I know there are some things in my life I am unrelentingly critical about. I wish I had treated a friend better. I regret I didn’t get my doctorate degree. I feel guilty I am divorced after 25 years of marriage. I wish I’d called my old friends more. I could give you a long list of things I have trouble forgiving in my life. The problem is this lack of forgiveness is often a source anxiety. I start thinking about all the things I had hoped to accomplish in my life instead of the things I successfully accomplished.
We forgive our friends willingly, but often refuse to give ourselves the same consideration. We soothe our friends feelings so they don’t feel bad yet will beat ourselves up mentally. I have had to learn to forgive myself and be much less critical in order to decrease my anxiety. Thoughts can spiral out of control and the result was panic attacks for me. If you find yourself always feeling guilty about something, and also suffer anxiety or panic attacks, it’s time to learn how to love yourself as much as you love your friends and family.
So SAD
Posted on March 18, 2009
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I noticed many years ago that in the fall season, I always started feeling quite blue for no apparent reason. I would sleep more at night and feel tired all the time. I would generally feel morose or sad, but couldn’t quite put my finger on the feelings. Today they have a name for the disorder. It’s called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). It’s a real diagnosis and has very real symptoms. The interesting thing about anxiety is that it can occur on many different levels. But if you have another anxiety disorder or depression, SAD can aggravate the situation even more.
Apparently SAD is primarily caused by lack of light. Sunlight contributes to the production of hormones in the brain. When you don’t get enough sunlight, the hormone levels drop and you can experience anxiety. Some people call it the “winter blues” too. The treatment for this disorder is obviously to get more light by getting outdoors more during the day or using extra indoor lights. I also moved my reading chair and my desk near a window, and I make sure the blinds are fully open all day long when I’m home. I’m sure you can think of other things to do that will help you get through the seasonal blues.
High Anxiety Holidays
Posted on March 4, 2009
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The holidays are such a beautiful time of year, but they sure can be a time of high anxiety too. I always wanted it all to be perfect, so I did everything myself. I took care of the shopping, mailing presents, cooking, writing cards, cleaning the house and party planning. I did it all while working full time too. What happened was each holiday became more stressful each year, until one December I discovered I was miserable. My perfect holiday was making me miserable.
I realized I had an anxiety problem when I was at the mall racing around and suddenly lost my ability to concentrate. I had no idea what I needed to do next. There were other signs in my life throughout the year, but this was an epiphany for me. I had to sit on a bench in the middle of the mall with all my packages and try to get reoriented. I was sweating and panting and trying to get a grip. Yes, I was having a holiday panic attack. So if you feel this level of anxiety during the holidays, you too probably need to deal with your propensity to try and “do it all”.
I Had to Give Up Coffee
Posted on February 18, 2009
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It took me years to finally admit that coffee made me anxious. The real problem lied in the fact that I had an anxiety disorder already, and the coffee was making it worse. Coffee gets a lot of criticism because of the caffeine you ingest in a single cup. Caffeine is a stimulant and stimulates can actually trigger panic attacks. I’m not saying giving up coffee will stop all anxiety attacks. But I am saying that giving up coffee may reduce the number of panic attacks and the intensity of the panic attacks. My feeling became after several years of panic attacks that I’d do whatever it takes to put a stop to them.
You probably are getting more caffeine in your diet than you even suspect. Caffeine is in all kinds of products including soft drinks, chocolate and non-prescription medications. I admit I was initially disappointed I had to give up caffeine, but eventually it paid off. I sleep better at night and have a lower level of anxiety.
The Real Issue
Posted on February 11, 2009
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Anxiety is one of those emotions that is really covering up another problem in your life. People who have anxiety often have a lot of scary thoughts that make no sense to them. For example, they may have enormous fears they don’t reveal to anyone else. I knew a man who feared swimming pools. He couldn’t hide his fear because our neighborhood had frequent pool parties. He was so afraid of the pool he’d stay inside the house. Finally, he went to a therapist and it turned out his real anxiety was due to suppressed suffocating feelings related to his family life. It seems odd at first glance, but anxiety often operates like a self-defense mechanism.
If you have an unreasonable fear of something you might want to consider that fear is covering up another problem. The fear works to distract your mind. It’s like displaced anxiety. Most of us can figure out what the real problems are in our lives if we open up our minds to the truth. But you have to make a commitment to deal with the honest truth.
How I Distract Myself
Posted on February 4, 2009
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It’s easy for a therapist to recommend you learn how to distract yourself during a panic attack, but actually doing so can take some practice. Since negative thoughts about yourself and your life are often the root causes of anxiety, then getting your mind off the panic would seem a good way to keep attack under control. In other words, you have to distract your mind so you don’t focus on the panic onset.
The therapist taught me some ways to distract myself when I feel anxiety growing. Some people count, but to be honest, counting makes me more nervous. My approach is to sing a song that makes me happy or focus on something around me. If I feel anxiety while in the grocery store for example, I’ll go to the coffee section and check out the gourmet coffees (decaffeinated of course). I really enjoy drinking decaf coffee so shopping for coffee and flavored syrups is a pleasant experience. The point is I do whatever I can to replace the anxiety with something nice.
Finding a Way to Help Myself
Posted on January 28, 2009
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When I decided I needed to do something about my anxiety level, the first step was deciding on the first step. I had spoken once to my doctor about my anxiety, but it’s really very mild so all he could do was make a few suggestions. When I got home, I decided to do some research and find my own self-help program. I found a wealth of information in many different forms. Of course, I began on the internet and there I found books, tapes and videos and web sites. You can even get online counseling, but I’m not ready to seek counseling yet. I just want something I can do at home to help me lower my feelings of stress and anxiety.
If you’re looking for some suggestions on how to reduce your stress level, the best place to start is with the internet. But you need to be careful about believing everything you read on the internet. You need to only rely on what are known to be dependable sites carrying accurate information.
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